dawnantlers

examples

a few poems that land and a few that don't.

good
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
who, squatting upon the ground,
held his heart in his hands,
and ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter—bitter," he answered;
"but I like it
because it is bitter,
and because it is my heart."

"In the Desert" · Stephen Crane

the second answer reframes the first.

avoid
I loved him so much
it hurt me.
I wonder if
he ever felt hurt.
My hurt, or
maybe his.

poem is trying to explain itself.

good
I am so tired of waiting,
aren't you,
for the world to become good
and beautiful and kind?
Let us take a knife
and cut the world in two —
and see what worms are eating
at the rind.

"Tired" · Langston Hughes

rewards a second read.

avoid
Her heart was filled with
enough love to fill the ocean.
Her voice stopped songbirds
in the morning, and her touch
could soothe a rampaging bull.
He only saw a woman
he could have met anywhere else.

abandoned metaphors, and an unearned ending.

good
the back wings
of the

hospital where
nothing

will grow lie
cinders

in which shine
the broken

pieces of a green
bottle

"Between Walls" · William Carlos Williams

you are slowed down to see the image.

avoid
Today you worry about tomorrow.
Tomorrow you will forget about today.

more fortune cookie message, less poem.

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